DIOR GOTS THAT ULTRA GLOSS REFLEC SHIT YO.

May 16th, 2008

My fellow socialite bitches, the Mercers and Tinsley Mortimer (middle) debuting the new Dior “Tinsley Pink” lip gloss. Ohh I am fucking loving the Ultra Gloss Refelect action and the bubblegum pink color is to die for!!!! Buy you some, part of the sales goes to Operation Smile so you can feel better about yourself after you carelessly and intentionally toss a bag of Wendy’s garbage on the skreet later on today.

Rep the brand, Dior addict 4 life.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Material Bitch's Bledger, HOT! | 6 Comments »

DARE YOU TO SAY YOU HATE HER. I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU!

May 16th, 2008

Oh Chakita, how I love you so. You do so many wonderful things for so many people that need it. You almost make me want to vomit, but a good vomit.. like when you see an amazing movie that touches your heart in a way that you get that weird lumpy short of breath heart attacky feeling. (I get this feeling everytime I watch “You got served”) She was attending the Concert For the Children in Mexico City so I guess she is helping out children or something. They all look like crooks actually, probably using the money to fund terrorism and smuggling.

Rep the brand, love Shakira, even if she is too lazy to get dressed up when she came to concert. That’s right, when I went to see her and was right in the front row the bitch came on stage in a track suit. She was still absolutely fucking amazing!!! I wanted to slit my wrists after that performance.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Material Bitch's Bledger, Celebrity Action, HOT! | 5 Comments »

A NICE BOTTLE OF BITCH.

May 16th, 2008

When I mention to you fucks that I would love to smash your face in with a bottle of Bitch this is what I mean. I import this shit from Australia by the boxes and give them away as gifts to my uselesses or use them as last drink specials (when your so drunk you could care less what it tastes like, you just want more.. kinda like Joey on Real World Hollywood). It’s a 90 point cheapie and not a great tasting Grenache but how many times can you drink a wine that has the word BITCH on it over 40 times??? Also notice the genius use of the downward dagger inside the heart? I fucking love Aussies! Them weird talking criminal bastards!

Rep the brand, get yourself a bottle or two at Wine Club Central.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Material Bitch's Bledger, HOT! | 3 Comments »

MYSPACE SOMETHING OR OTHER.

May 15th, 2008

i would like to start off by giving her props for the middle finger usage… me likey. but whoa whoa whoa whoa on everything else. i’d say 90% chance EASY that the ring on her finger is stuck, has been stuck, and will be stuck there for many years to come. someone should really call someone, or do something, or something. i don’t know how much longer that finger will last under such pressure.

peep her space.

Read more | Posted in MYSPACE WINNERS, Bethany's Bledger | 13 Comments »

PETER CAGES UP HIS BITCHES.

May 15th, 2008

OMG gross PETER bitches!.. I suffer when forced to look at your nasty assess. Why doesn’t that whole fake ass organization just fuck off already? I love me some animals and hate to see them get hurt, but Christ almighty, I also love some nice fluffy eggs with a huge helping of crispy bacon smothered in a nice natural maple syrup served up fresh with a nice tall glass of nearly frozen, not from concentrate, orange juice (no pulp). Mmmmm.

Maybe they are the chicks that suffer for eggs? They are unhealthy and sickly looking. You can’t just eat eggs ya dumb hos! Go get a half rack of baby backs or something.

Rep the brand, kill animals for food, just don’t let me know about it.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Material Bitch's Bledger, NOT. | 7 Comments »

CAN CAN TRAVELS SLOW AND LEAVES A WEIRD ODOR.

May 15th, 2008

Paris in London at the launch of her new fragance “Can Can”. That shit was here sitting on the shelves of Kitson back in October last year though.? Does it really take that long to pump that swill over to Europe?

“I wanted to create a fragrance that expresses a mood of sparkling elegance. Something that would make me feel wonderfully sexy and glamorous. And that is just what happens when I wear Can Can.” - Paris Hilton

Hmmmm.. Sparkling Elegance.. I think it smells like what deer’s anus might smell like after it consumed a large amount of flowers and berries if you want my honest opinion. I must admit though, at times, I really did enjoy getting dressed up like a complete whore and blessing my most perfect neck with a little kiss of “Paris Hilton” her first perfume. I usually got in fights those nights.

Rep the brand, get the smell at Macy’s for like… fitty fie.

<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Material Bitch's Bledger, Celebrity Action | 8 Comments »

MYSPACE WINNER & POSSIBLE MODEL: 714.G

May 14th, 2008

“They are right when they say chicks from socal are hotter. I scoped out your profile and so far I really think your main pic you have up is hot. I m going to try to browse your other ones to make sure they arent photoshopped or anything. You never know nowdays what kind of fat chicks or impregnated MILFs are hiding behind the computer. Especially the ones that take face pics only lol As far as your profile, what you wrote seems legit. I think you are someone I dont mind partying with sometime or getting to know better.

If you want to hit me back up, check out my profile. I try to stay pretty honest on there and sometimes girls get a lil butt hurt. Anyway, hope you are having a good day and maybe I will hear back from you soon.

-G

PS. My AIM is: royale1129 and Yahoo is: royale11 , I dont think you are a stalker so I can make an exception and give that info out :)”

That’s what he sent in his message to one of our profiles. Here’s my question.. are there whores out there that actually think this dingus wrote this shit specifically for them? He seems like a real catch what with that amazing video of him peeling out in his stock 2001 mustang and based on his looks I would say he is a Calvin Klein model for sure. Scoup him up bitches! Haha his emails addresses use the name Royale! LOL Serious should get a kick out of that. He is right that I am not a stalker but ill stab his fucking eye out with 2B pencil if he comes anywhere near me. Kevo would like this guy i’m pretty sure.

Rep the brand, looks like a fun vacation out in the jungle. not. Check his space here.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Myspace Model, MYSPACE WINNERS, Material Bitch's Bledger | 9 Comments »

SPENCER REMIX. I LOVE IT!!! FUCK YOURSELF.

May 13th, 2008

This is about the only tolerable way to watch Spencer. A nice catchy tune! At least I know Jen will love the Brody part.

Rep the brand, Neomeme Neomeme Neomeme Neomeme
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in sHills, Hollywood, MTV, The HILLS, MaterialBITCH.TV, Material Bitch's Bledger | 7 Comments »

BITCH BE POPPIN OFF ON SOME OL GRANDMA.

May 13th, 2008

WTF? I thought I was watching an episode of I Love NY or someshit. This bitch is Heinous and I would kick the living fuck out of her face if she started poppin off like that on me.

Rep the brand, gimmie back my hair so I can go!
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Hillarious, MaterialBITCH.TV, Material Bitch's Bledger, HOT! | 9 Comments »

DIAMONDS ON MY PINKY, A FUNNEL IN MY PANTS.

DIOR GOTS THAT ULTRA GLOSS REFLEC SHIT YO.

DARE YOU TO SAY YOU HATE HER. I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU!

A NICE BOTTLE OF BITCH.

MYSPACE SOMETHING OR OTHER.

PETER CAGES UP HIS BITCHES.

CAN CAN TRAVELS SLOW AND LEAVES A WEIRD ODOR.

MYSPACE WINNER & POSSIBLE MODEL: 714.G

SPENCER REMIX. I LOVE IT!!! FUCK YOURSELF.

BITCH BE POPPIN OFF ON SOME OL GRANDMA.

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