The iPhone 3GS…
Yes. It’s the same old iPhone with new tricks but I used to own a 1st generation model and this latest release from Apple OBLITERATES the previous generations and makes me look at phones like the BlackBerry CuntBerry with utter dis contempt!
First, let’s break down what’s already wonderful about iPhone…
It’s easy to use. Even drunk slunts who have been bar hopping all night can get it right the first time with iPhone. Slide the button to unlock & get your navigation on with easy to touch icons that take you to whatever function you want to use from facebook to the safari web browser to taking pictures to making a phone call. Monkey touch. Monkey do. It’s that simple.
Applications. Though I use Tweetie. TwitterFon is a great, free, Twitter client application for iPhone. There’s also applications for MySpace, facebook, Word Press, etc. You name it. There’s an app. I wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t an app that wipes your ass. Seriously. There’s that many!
It’s also high quality. It STILL has the best web browsing experience, hands down, compared to all the other competition. It is fast and reliable for a touch screen phone and the syncing capabilities with iTunes provide for a fun, secure, experience every time. The look could stand an update but it is still an efficient, sleek, thin, stylish phone that is standard for smart phone users & true materialBITCHES alike.
Now let’s get down to the new features that make me LOVE the 3GS…
The extended full-sized key board now works for Texting & MMS. Thank you Apple. No one has fingers that small. Fuck you for taking so long on this one!
Cut. Copy. Paste. It’s about fucking time Apple, but… You know what? Worth the wait. It’s amazingly simple and easy to use! Way better than on my CuntBerry…
It now does video recording with editing. The quality looks superb! I can’t wait to show you some of the fun stuff I’ve made with mine. You can also edit it really simple to cut out all the debaucherous stuff you don’t want others to see.
Voice control. This feature fucking rocks! You can now tell iPhone to play certain play lists, shuffle your music, or dial names & numbers by voice. It actually understands pretty well too. So if a drunk slunt is slurring her talk… iPhone will still be able to recognize the proper voice command through the slurs.
With a mobile me account, if your iPhone is stolen. You can lock a bitch out of it & send them a message telling them you are doing so! Yes, you read that right. It’s called Locate My iPhone and it’s genius. Simply sync Mobile Me & iTunes & your iPhone and it will be on permanent watch by the Mobile Me people. If it’s stolen. Simply log into your Mobile Me and report your iPhone missing. You can then type  a message to give to the carrier of your iPhone & let them know they’re being tracked because it tells you your iPhones location as well!
The screen has a new smudge proof coating! I put a protective case over mine anyways, but this is a cool feature for those that free ball their iPhones and just put them in their purse, pockets, and shit.
It’s true. The “S” in 3GS does stands for “speed.” The processor is faster. The browser is faster. The overall phone experience seems so much smoother. This thing is ready to go right out the box!
But I still have some gripes…
AT&T SUCKS BALLS! I get Verizon service perfectly at home. Not AT&T though. It’s so spotty & shotty that I never know when it’s going to work or not. They say they’re making improvements on this but I have yet to see them. This phone desperately needs to be available to all carriers. Not just AT&T… It would dominate the mobile market otherwise!
The new compass feature. It’s cool, I suppose. But it seems completely unnecessary to me! Completely! Isn’t that the reason for the Map & GPS features? I just don’t understand the addition of it.
MMS & video messaging not available until the end of the Summer! Are you kidding me? It’s kind of fucked up to release a product and announce all these amazing new features it has, but the main one everyone can’t wait for won’t be available until the end of the Summer. Just not cool AT&T/Apple… Shame on you!
The look of the iPhone hasn’t changed much in three releases. Need I say more?
WORST GRIPE!!! ADMIT IT APPLE! Most of these features should have been on the iPhone from the start! We’re just now getting video, voice dial, voice memo, cut, copy, & paste… Really? WTF Apple!? These features come standard on most every current smart phone. It’s not fun to buy the same phone three times just to get a few feature changes. Fortunately, us materialBITCHES can afford it. But still… This fourth generation model better be fucking amazing because my 32gb iPhone 3GS is FUCKING FABULOUS! materialBITCHES, Cop this shit NOW!
-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo
P.S. My iPhone line is my public/business line. If you’ve got tips, comments, feedback, or for networking opportunities… Give me a call at 541-525-2720
