PETER MAKES ME CRAVE MEAT.

July 22nd, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

Peter, you stupid bitches. I have told you before, I hate seeing animal cruelty and what not but who gives a fuck if I am not exposed to it? How else would we be served up our tasty steaks and chicken breasts? Them bitch ass animals gotta die somehow for christs sake. It’s like the old saying.. if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around does it make a sound? If a billion cows and chickens get their nuggets lopped off in some shithole slaughterhouse in texas does it make a sound to me? No. The only sound I hear is a huge belch after I am done consuming that tasty meat treat.

And who the fuck is Lady Bunny? I hate drag queens. This just proves yet again that Peter is a bunch of stupid bitches that need to sit the fuck down, and shut the fuck up.

Just for embarking on such a limpwristed ad campaign I am going to order extra meat everywhere I go today.

Rep the brand, give me dead animals on a plate YUM!
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in F'reals?, Material Bitch's Bledger | 13 Comments »

PARENTING 101 BY BRITNEY SPEARS

July 22nd, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

Britney Spears, Smoking, Kids

It has been a long time since Britney has graced the bledger but I had to post this one. I applaud her for teaching whichever child that is (jayden, cleetus, earl, dwight?) about the joys of smoking and how to master a lighter. These are all very necessary skills that every youth should be familiar with once they hit grade 1 or 2. My only suggestion to you Brit.. you should have gotten him a pack of Newport 100’s and started him off at the top. Marly lights are for people that only think they are smokers. Posers.

Rep the brand, bad is good duh.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Material Bitch's Bledger, Celebrity Action | 5 Comments »

THE TEXANUSES KEEP ON YAPPING.

July 21st, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

What I imagine Cuddlebaby looks like.

From Cuddlebaby832000@yahoo.com

MY DADDY, MY DADDY’S MONEY, MY DADDY’S LAWYER, OMG CAN YALL NOT DO ANY THING WITH OUT DADDY YOU SPOILED BRATS. WELL I GUESS YOUR USED TO SCREAMING DADDY IN YALL’S PORN FILMS. AND TALK ABOUT OUR VAGINA YALL PROBLEY HAVE NASTY WARTS ON YALL’S! NASTY NYC WOMEN, ALL YALL DO IS SLEEP AROUND, WITH EVERY TOM, DICK, AND MATERIAL BITCH THAT YOU CAN. THE ONLY REASON YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT TEXAS AND JOHNNA,YOU AND YOUR GIRLS MAY WALK ON THE RED CARPET BUT ME AND MY FRIENDS WALK ON PAPER COUSE WE ARE THE SHIT! IF YOU LITTLE GIRLS SO MUCH BETTER THEN HER THEN WHY WAST YOUR TIME ON HER. YA’LL ARE JUST SPOILED LITTLE GIRLS WITH NO LIFE’S AND NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN THIS. GOD I HOPE NONE OF YOU HAVE CHILDREN I’D FELL SO SORRY FOR THEM. I’M INJOYING THIS ACCTUALY BECOUSE IT JUST SHOWES HOW INVIOUS YOU ARE WITH US, BECOUSE YOU JUST KEEP TALKING ABOUT US. SO KEEP IT UP YOU HAVE’NT HURT OUR FELLINGS.:)

Nice writing on ya. Yes I am “invious” of some shitkicking slunts that say Ya’ll every third word and call a night out on the town going to Arby’s for a bag of roast beef sammiches with extra chee and then hitting Circle K to grab the latest issue of Cattle Ranchin’. You texan whores are the ones that keep sending comments over and over. Who’s “invious”? Don’t be jealous because my daddy makes my life the best it can possibly be. It’s not my fault your old man raped you when you were 8 and beats your mother with a size 50 belt. <3 MB

Read more | Posted in Hate Mail, Material Bitch's Bledger, Jesus is magic! | 21 Comments »

UM. HOLLY’S DRESS? YES PLEASE.

July 20th, 2008

OMG Holly.. your dress is incredible!!! I would totally knock you the fuck out with a right hook and steal it off your unconscious, twitchy body. No hard feelings love? Hugh you will forever be the true pimp daddy. Bridget you are adorable but I am not feeling the gold and white getup. Kendra you are a thug.. love the heels. The crew was at a the Generation Rescue event hosted by Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. ::yawn::

I somehow missed this shindig.. the whole “rescue” thing really sounded limp wristed. Rescuing stuff is lame. Someone should take the initiative and start a Generation Rescue Kevo Fund huh?

Rep the brand, watch your back.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Dresses to die for, Material Bitch's Bledger | 3 Comments »

HASHLEE THE HIPPY. BLECH.

July 20th, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

Oh my. I don’t understand the need by some people to look like a dirty smelly hippy fuck. Asslee was seen leaving someones house in WeHizo with Pete looking high as fuck. She is wearing a Gypsy 05 Alligator Braided Maxi Dress. Bleh. Nice shovel face and chin anus bitch. Hoe down anyone? [Photo: Gossipgirls.com]

Rep the brand, if you want to look like a hippy get the dress for about $150 at singer22.com
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Material Bitch's Bledger, Celebrity Action, NOT. | 5 Comments »

WHITNEY NOT REHEARSING LINES.

July 19th, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

Whitney!? I love you bitch but that shit on your feet has to go immediately. Not really loving the dress either but at least your mouth fully shuts and your eyes can focus on the horizon. She was on location awaiting her que to be “real” in a taping of the new Hills episodes. Can’t you hardly wait? New Hills.. new 90210? Spectacular! ::sip:: [Photo: BuzzFoto.com]

Rep the brand, action!
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in sHills, The HILLS, Material Bitch's Bledger | 5 Comments »

KATHY GRIFFIN IS HILLARIOUS, JUST DON’T SIT TOO CLOSE TO THE SCREEN.

July 19th, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

Something always bothered me about Kathy Griffin until I started watching her show My Life on the D-list and now I must say.. I absolutely adore this motherfucking whore!.. Oh hey, for those that watch it what was with Woz and KG only giving 4 macintosh computers to that “school” she opened in wherever the fuck they were? 4? This guy has billions of dollars and he gives 4 puny little macs? I would have given them poor little honduran bastards at least 5 and a case of rumplemintz for good measure.

So yeah, she may be a bit rough on the eyes but the bitch is funny as fuck, just thank god Bravo isn’t broadcast in HD yet.

P.S. Her assistant Tom really weirds me out.. I think he is a tiny bit retarded.. he always has his mouth open a bit and the corners are all wet n shit you know what im saying?. Ick.

Rep the brand, watch her show, you have missed 3 seasons already bitches.
<3 MB

Read more | Posted in Hillarious, Material Bitch's Bledger, Celebrity Action, HOT! | 5 Comments »

LC ROCKS THE WANG.

July 18th, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

I love Lauren in this Alexander Wang fold tank. This whole getup is hot. She was at the Crown Bar in WeHo getting her debauchery on like a good little MB should. [Photo: Celebrity-Gossip.net]

Rep the brand, grab that tank here for just under 400 bills at shopbop.com

<3 MB

Read more | Posted in sHills, MBeeish, The HILLS, Material Bitch's Bledger, Celebrity Action, HOT! | 18 Comments »

MINI MB GETS HAXED! DOH!

July 17th, 2008

Posted By: MB
Email: mb@materialbitch.com
Myspace: myspace.com/whothefuckismb

Miley reminds me of myself at that age so much so that I have now dubbed her MiniMB. Thanks to our friend TrainReq, more of her true MB behavior is being exposed for the world to see. TrainReq not only has naughtier pics of Miley that he plans on selling but he also has been reading her email for the past few months and has evidence that MiniMB and Nick Jonass were boning. You guys can stop saying you are virgins already for fucks sake. Disney #1