Tila Tequila is seriously launching a new gossip website at http://tilatequilaOMG.com and is apparently dubbing herself the “O.M.G. of all media…”

Seriously?

What a joke!

Who and what is she going to talk about? She has no friends, she lies all the time, plus she’s a desperate presstitute wannabe.

I see no fuel for this engine.

I really think the O.M.G. stands for Overly Massive Gonorrhea…

Or

One More Generic.

etc. etc.

What do you think the O.M.G. stands for?

For a second she had me thinking she had went and joined Lil’ Wayne’s daughters group The OMG Girlz. ROFLMAO!

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

Just keep getting the real thing here. Where you got it all along…

The sad thing is… The surgeries didn’t help her career at all. If anything, they hurt it.

Hunger and desperation will do that.

File shit like this in the ‘What Not To Do’ category please, k?

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

If Tila Tequila claims she’s going to “take time off” one more time and doesn’t... I swear I’ll off myself!

Kidding. Off myself over Tila Tequila? Yeah right!

Only an unborn fetus would do something like that.

Observe the hungry, desperate clues she’s recently left on her official Twitter train wreck account. She tweets “Mrs. Tila _ _ _ _,” which makes me assume she’ll be allegedly taking a four letter last name. She also has claims numerously that her new victim suitor is male, unlike her previous relationship with the less-than-two-months-ago-deceased opportunity heiress, her “fiance,” Casey Johnson. Also, In the past she’s referred to her mystery impregnator/soon-to-be-husband as “Mr. R.” Who also allegedly has a Twitter account.

Doubting that this four-letter-last-name-that-begins-with-an-R-male would be some regular Joe who couldn’t afford Tila, I’ve research the CelebrityTweet.com database to come up with a possible answer as to who this poor sucker who’s allegedly marrying/fathering Tila’s pretend baby could be.

Here are the official Twitter accounts of some alleged possible future husbands/baby daddies of Tila Tequila:

@KevinRose has a four letter last name that begins with an R. He’s the founder of social-meda site digg.com

TILA’S PRESSTITUTION FACTOR: A high 8

With Kevin, she could potentially use his internet connections to presstitute herself out further and suck him dry with divorce and child-support payments for her pretend baby.

@JalenRose also has a four letter last name that begins with an R and is a NBA Star and ESPN analyst.

TILA’S PRESSTITUTION FACTOR: A low 6

After having previously dabbled with sports stars… I can’t see Tila leeching onto another one. But she is a hungry, desperate presstitute who might just be bored enough to try again and recreate history. Maybe with Jalen she could actually get to the point where she can acquire a divorce settlement or pretend child support payments. Whoever this mystery douche man is… I’m sure that’s what she’s gunning for.

@KarlRove’s last name fits the clues and he is a former Deputy Chief of Staff to former President George W. Bush and a noted conservative.

TILA’S PRESSTITUTION FACTOR: A total 10

Could you imagine the media coverage Tila would score if her future husband and baby-daddy was Karl Rove? The stories. The press. Tila would suck him and the media dry in every possible way, shape, and form. Not that I’d ever like to truly imagine her sucking anything but a camera lens so I don’t have to see her hungry face… I’m praying her mystery sap is Karl so that I have blog-inspiration to last until 2020 and shit.

So there you have it. Tila is set to announce her hot-mess suitor anyday now.

Whether she’ll become Tila Rose or Rove… Who knows?

Who really cares?

I just make this shit to make you laugh.

Schadenfreude!

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

First off, I’d like to NOTE that Tila Tequila is not famous enough to be called a “fame whore.” She has to pull hungry, desperate stunts just to get public attention. So I’d like to introduce you to her new official title… PRESSTITUTE!

I think it suits her skanky ass a lot better. Don’t you? Anyways…

Observe the latest hot-mess, psycho Twitter tweets of Tila Tequila. She alleges she’s still pregnant, claims that she got beat up recently, and states numerously that she is in the process of marrying the alleged baby’s father. In other tweets she stated that she “can’t follow” this mystery Tila-impregnator’s own Twitter account because she’s not ready for the world to know who it is yet.

Riiight.

Tila, we’re not stupid. The real reason is because there is no man out there that would be dumb enough to put a ring on it. Tila is crazy. It’s only been 49 days (not even two whole months) since Casey Johnson’s passing and she is already onto the next sap. If he even exists.

She also went to Australia recently for a string of hot-mess club performances where she was allegedly seen dancing near-topless and partying harder than Tara Reid during Marde Gras.

Eat that alleged unborn fetus!

Tila, you presstitute you… I know we’re hating. But you fuel us with oh-so-much ammunition. You’re so sick and twisted I think you secretly like the abuse.

Thanks by the way. Keep up the good w… Whatever you call it.

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

Oh. And while you’re at it. Follow me and Material Bitch on Twitter …

I guess it’s Russian or something like that?

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

My friend Dan had me laughing my ass off today when he played me songs by the lounge singing cover band Richard Cheese. I had never heard of them before and discovered (via Google) that they’re already pretty popular. But not only is their (believe it or not) lounge style singing not only full of talent… Their music is OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING HOOK HILARIOUS! They have covered many huge songs of all genres in their own lounge style. It’s like a Sinatra sound with Eminem lyrics. They’ve covered songs like “Shake Ya Ass” by Mystikal, “Naughty Girl” by Beyonce, and more…

I saw this shit and instantly thought of mB! I could see us at a black tie cocktail party with this playing in the background getting TIPS! Good times for sure. Enjoy y’all…

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

Is the formerly relevant star Kirstie Alley seriously starting a “weight loss business?” How the hell can she teach others how to lose weight when you’re still Jabba the Hut fat? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Don’t you do all that shit AFTER you’ve proved you can lose the weight… And actually keep it off?

Sounds like a plus-sized joke to me…

Besides. One thing that has always bugged me about Kirstie is her penchant for telling little white weight loss lies. She claims in these A&E promotional clips for her new show Kirstie Alley’s Big Life that she “Gained 75 pounds, lost 75 pounds, and then gained 75 pounds again.” Um… Looks more to me like you gained 250 pounds, lost 75 pounds, then gained 100 pounds of it back.

And I’ve got photographic evidence to prove my theory…

Remember the whole Oprah/Bathing suit fiasco? She was clearly wearing a tummy-taming bikini. That shit was not real! You only fooled Tila Tequila fans the blind and retarded. Just stop the insanity already and eat the motherfucking twinkies if you must. But don’t make yourself out to be a weight loss spokesperson when you clearly don’t fit the part.

Just saying…

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

This dork has the nerve to “be clever” at a live concert in Tennessee Thursday, February 11th and makes his mid-live-concert-performance-apology-break a jazzy kind of song-talk that was suuuper sappy and not sincere. John Mayer used the n-word, demeaned black women, and ceased to ever really directly apologize to black women or African Americans as a whole. He made it all about himself and his arrogance and selfishness. No shit sherlock! Tell us something we don’t already know!

Unless he’s that cheesy all the time. Sounds to me like he’s still arrogant and selfish. And without a reason to be. Warning. I really did have to watch this in installments because it seriously did hurt my ears badly.

Lies do that.

What do you think? Is he being sincere? It seemed so scripted and reality show-ish.

Grr.

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

Lady Gaga walked the red carpet at the amfAR New York Gala co-sponsored by MAC Cosmetics on Wednesday (February 11) in New York City wearing pearls from head to toe. Literally. H to T!

That shit looks like it was spilling all over the floor too. Somebody grab a Dyson!

And Lady Gaga, isn’t it  seriously like two degrees in NYC right now? You’re baring belly and no pants?

You really are daring.

Especially wearing all that white and not making sure your teeth match.

Sorry. I’m a Lady Gaga fan too but I just had to say it.

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

Just when you thought the lurch-looking, horse faced, wannabe player, couldn’t be a bigger douche bag…

John Mayer recently told Playboy Magazine during an interview that he’s got a “n****r pass” and he loosely admitted that he’s not into black women who throw themselves at him because his “dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock.”

Wow John. Wow!

We here at MaterialBITCH.com know that when you want to make something hood and you’re not black. It’s definitely best to use words like “Nikka,” “Nukka,” “Jigga,” etc. Never the actual n-word! Besides. With a face like John Mayer’s, you’re already scaring people enough by simply making them have to look at you. Don’t fuck it up worse by being stupid and saying things you allegedly don’t mean.

And John, you seriously shouldn’t be talking about denying anyone or any race that might actually want to fuck you. Especially when you’ve dated such winners as Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Anniston. Of course, those hoes would be down. Jessica was just linked to fugly ass Billy Corgan.

At this point, that hoe will do anything for press. And Jen? She’s getting over the hill so she’s in the same category naturally. He’ll never fuck a real star.

But back to Mayer specifically… I was never a fan anyway. Now I’m really not.

I hope some angry rapper does a drive by on that piece of shit.

Lastly?

QUIT APOLOGIZING ON TWITTER! If you were really sorry and really wanted to show some shred of decency for being a complete jackass, then you would’ve released a public statement or even done an interview. But you’re not really sorry.

Admit it. You’re a racist attention whore. Just like everybody else.

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo MaterialBITCH.com’s resident NUKKA!

Get it right Mayer!

UPDATE: I just wanted to also note that I find it funny that he uses words like “equivocating” when he tweets. Anyone who’s dumb enough to be a fan of his will not understand that word AT ALL! If he even does, lol!