(Heidi Montag, Heidi Montag’s old faces, & Spencer Pratt during happier times)

Many media reports have run rampant with speculation that reality TV show stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are in fact broke and living on credit. Both have allegedly received their final checks from MTV for their time on The Hills and are now both coming up short because of failed business attempts (like Heidi’s two million dollar album which only brought in around two thousand dollars) and bad spending. Spencer reportedly spent $500,000 on ‘healing crystals’ which he’s always talking about even though I think it was honestly crystal-meth.

That idiot is insane!

Now, in a desperate bid for media attention, Heidi is claiming that she could be pregnant. Even though I fail to see how her plastic carcass could even manage such a thing.

She reportedly claims she fears she might be pregnant because she’s feeling ‘more nauseous than usual…’

I would be nauseous too if I had to live with the humiliation of a failed marriage to a psycho, flop album, flop plastic surgery, and the fact that I’m the butt of every Hollywood joke. Heidi, you’re not pregnant. You’re just seeing things from a real perspective now that you don’t have Spencer hopping around you like a monkey, rubbing crystals in your face.

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

(Observe Heidi Montag-Pratt at a Santa Monica court house filing for separation from her estranged husband Spencer Pratt Tuesday, June 8th)

I know. I know. She’s got that whole bobble head alien look to her… But you should feel bad for Heidi. I mean, she’s going through her first divorce and can’t even move her face muscles appropriately to frown if she’s sad or smile if she’s happy to be leaving her long-time MTV’s The Hills co-star.

One thing’s for sure. Spencer is bat shit crazy. Heidi’s making the right decision.

Now, whether her decision to presstitute herself out in whole the process and make a reality show about her impending single life is a good idea… Well that remains to be seen. But with The Hills and it’s flailing ratings and her album having the same amount of fans as our current oil spill crisis… I’d be safe to assume that we’ve got yet another flop on our hands…

I guess that’s what happens when you buy a face only a mother could love…

Sorry. I had to. This photo fucking gives me the creeps every time!

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

Extremely impressive how you just run into things and pull the trigger.. limitless talent! ::sip:: <3 MB

I had to snap these pics.. swear to God I almost vomited. She seriously makes me want to gouge my fucking eyes out.

Life’s fantastic when you’re plastic. Isn’t it? Here’s a photograph of Heidi Montag unveiling her new post-op bikini body while hosting the Liquid Pool at Aria in CityCenter, Las Vegas April 10th.

Oh wait. I’m sorry. Wrong photo.

That’s a picture of Malibu Barbie. Here’s the actual, way faker Heidi Montag.

Technically, her and Heidi are identical in almost every way. The only differences I notice are Heidi’s triple F sized chest balloons and sky high cheekbone implants. I honestly think that whore’s made of more plastic than Barbie. SMH!

Barbie’s definitely got more class.

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

MTV has officially announced that the upcoming sixth season of it’s popular scripted reality series ‘The Hills’ will be it’s last.

I’m seriously getting teary-eyed at the thought. Granted, I’ve never watched a single episode. But still. I can see it now… Without the steady paycheck, what are Audrina, Stephanie, Kristin, Lo, and Heidi going to do for money and attention now?

Oh the shit that’s going to emerge from this! I can see Lauren Conrad laughing from a printing press somewhere in Cali right now.

All the hot-mess that this show has induced for these guys and girls and it’s finally over. Let the train wreck commence!

Hallelujah!

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

With Audrina’s whack eyes, Heidi’s bump mug, and Kristin and Stephanie’s admitted crack addictions. I might actually watch this season! Kristin and Stephanie are total weight loss inspirations. Even though they could still stand to lose a couple more pounds.

Eat less. Weigh less dumb bitches! It’s that simple.

You payed for that square jawline and puffy look? Stupid whore. ::sip:: <3 mB

The sad thing is… The surgeries didn’t help her career at all. If anything, they hurt it.

Hunger and desperation will do that.

File shit like this in the ‘What Not To Do’ category please, k?

-Richie Rich ^_~xoxo

This slores face is so fucked up it doesn’t surprise me about the 10 surges in a day. ::sip:: <3 mB