I finally decided to break down and get an iPhoney 3 months ago at the hefty price of $400 since there was no mention from the super genius crooks over at crApple when the new iPhoney would come out and any details about it’s pricing. So I dumped my Verizon pocket pc phone mainly because it was a bit too big and didn’t browse the web very well. I signed up for the stupid ATT 2 year contract and decided to give the iPhoney a try since I really needed to access the web and use email when on the go.
As usual the packaging and product looked and felt great as most crApple products do but as far as usability it was a joke. I had to download a program (jailbreak) that illegally broke the phone open and allowed users to actually write and publish applications that were helpful and added the functionality that crApple wanted to keep away from you without paying for it. As far as I am concerned there are 2 good apps that I used, Twinkle and Cowbell. Everything else was fucking worthless. The email sucks and is clunky to use. The service is a joke (I live in hollywood, it’s not like we are out in the desert somewhere) and I rarely have a clear call. The download speeds for the web are pitiful on the unreliable edge network so browsing sites with any real content was not really an option. Not to mention you couldn’t view flash because Dictator Jobs wouldn’t allow it. The iPod part was ok, but that is basic stuff that has been around for a while now. I tunes is a whole other story, don’t get me started on that sad sac of shit!
The keyboard is a FUCKING JOKE! My brother was right when he said it was unusable. I thought I could work the keyboard with some skill but in all honesty, it is impossible to use unless you are sitting dead still and squinting your eyes at the tiny little buttons. The lame spelling correction makes it even harder to use. Like I want Steve correcting my spelling when I am trying to type out “sup mofuck, we going to jock some hos 2night or what yo”. I want my slang to be just how I type it for cocksuckers sake so leave it the fuck alone or at least put an option to turn the auto correction off you stupid bitch.
Tell me this. How can something so amazing as the iPhoney not have a feature like copy and paste? Job’s has forgotten the basics and spent all his time jerking off and making the phone do cute things like sliding and rotating. Oooh look at me I have pictures of cars on my phone and I can make them rotate and zoom in by using 2 fingers. This was well worth half a grand!
So heres the deal. A few weeks ago Job’s announces the new iPhoney would be only $200 and run on the G3 network which is much faster than edge and would have the new “app store” that would allow users to purchase programs that used to be free on jailbreak. Was there any discount for people that already own an iPhoney like myself and wanted to upgrade? No. Shit out of luck. That was like a kick to my nutsax. Fuck that shit. Fuck you steve.
I saw all my “friends” talking and tweeting about how amazing the new iPhoney 2.0 firmware was and how great the new App store is so I decided to try and upgrade it and see how it was. Something that should have been a 10 minute project turned out to be a half a day of wasted time jerking around with the upgrading process. I am not the only one, do a search on the web. Everyone is having issues with upgrading. Apple really dropped the ball on this whole thing and pissed their customers off. For some reason when I complained about these issues to my “friends” they all started to agree and say how tough it was to upgrade and how much they missed twinkle like myself.
Long story short. I got it to work finally and it sucks big time. It hardly connects to the Edge, I have to use it when I am at home on my wireless connection to do anything on it. Why would my service to Edge turn to shit after upgrading to 2.0??????????? The applications that are in the app store are poorly written and very cumbersome to use. Twitteriffic sucks and is no comparison to Twinkle. Any of the free programs are worthless and redundant. And where the fuck is Cowbell?!?!
I could type for days about the issues I have with this phone, I have barely scratched the surface. I’m done with crApple. I am going to break this fucking piece of shit into 100 pieces (like I did my ipod) in front of people still waiting in line for the new iPhoney at the gay ass apple store.
Yet another useless apple product that is overpriced and ended up smashed to shit by my fist.
I think the Moto Q global is going to be worth a shot and it’s under $200.00 Time to make a sculpture of the iPhoney. Thanks Steve, I hope global warming melts your fucking face.
-Serious
